Godspell as performed by NSYNC on Christ Crack!
Prepare Ye for a theatrical event! ALTAR BOYZ is a show that will "shep naches" (to translate for you goys "to bring pleasure or joy")! It's staged as the final performance of the christian boy band Altar Boyz "Raise the Praise" tour but don't fret as you can still catch the Boyz at the Pantages theatre through December 31!
Just who are the Altar Boyz? You've got Mathew, the leader of the boy band with beautiful arms. Mark, the token meshuggina faygala (again translation: crazy homosexual) choreographer of the group. Luke, I guess he drives the bus. Juan, the "Rico Suave" Papi hearthrob. And Finally Abraham, the Jewish one (picture Beastie Boy with a fantastic voice & body)!
So... that's who they are, now here are some tips to help you "Learn Your Lesson Well!" 1. Don't Be Cheap! Buy the best available tickets because you'll miss some of kitsch in the lyrics if you do. 2. Again, DON'T BE CHEAP! Go 2 or 3 times because like I said... you'll miss alot the first 1 or 2 times! 3. Come ready to "Get Jiggy Wit" the Boyz! This isn't a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar... it's the "Raise the Praise" tour. Can I get an Amen!
And now it's time for My Favorites...
Song: Church Rulez! If you've ever had the pleasure of attending Catholic Mass it'll make you giggle like a Catholic schoolgirl!
Confession: Well... these are secret between the Altar Boyz, you and the Lord but of course it'll have something to do with Impure Thoughts!
Boychick: Sorry Mark... but my favorite from the band of boychicks is Abraham! His singing and dancing makes me verklempt! Plus... there's just something about a boy in a yamika!
So, during this holiday season make one of your holiday wishes an evening with the Boyz! You may just become an Atlarholic! Maybe not, but at the very least you'll leaving proclaiming "I'm A... Cath'lic!"
So as this former altar boy proclaims as I ride out of sight "Merry Briss-Mass To ALL!" ~love the Meshuggina Faygala Tim

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